I think I need to get this out of the way. Bookspace Detroit, once an obsessively planned and plotted retail space to open in Downtown Detroit, and then West Village Detroit, and then maybe somewhere else Detroit...is no longer set to open. A bookstore in Detroit is a beautiful idea, and there are two incredibly vital ones (go check out Source Booksellers and Pages) doing 'God's work,' as an author once described bookselling to me. Bookspace may have contributed a new dimension to the existing scene, and it still might - but not now. The deals were not right, the time was not right, and I was not ready. Instead, life just unfolded differently.
In the last 17 months, everything changed. I became a mom. And everyone says oh isn't it amazing you'll never believe how everything changes. And so you prepare to learn what that means. You can't know what you don't know, but you try to account for it, and plan around it, and visualize affirmations and meditate and get strong in anticipation of unimaginable physical trauma and emotional upheaval. And yet. There's only so much you can do, so many green drinks and mindful meditations and prenatal pelvic floor strengthening series you can take while working and worrying with sickness and death and the ceaselessly terrifying nature of pregnancy (did you know it's constantly terrifying? Am I the only one?).
Of course everything changes - and of course you're still surprised by the scope and the depth of that transformation. I'm working on a perfect analogy but all I can think of is when you ask what time it is over and over, forgetting immediately what you said the moment it passes your lips and hearing any response as a series of beeps and blips, so you keep asking and forgetting and not understanding. Without ever stopping for sleep.
So Bookspace Detroit exists, but only in my mind. Books have continued to play a central role in my life, so I will still write about them here - reviews of parenting books (I read a little bit of several of these!), escapist books (great for endless nursing stretches!), politically relevant books (can't avoid these anymore!), funny books, necessary books, coloring books, board books. I'm now focused on building not my own library but something perfect for the tiny gentleman who is suddenly in my care. This little human entirely dependent on the giants who live with him is starting to do more with books than just try to swallow them whole -
I think that journey alone is worth exploring.